ARRA ARGUSTA MCCOLLUM

My paternal Grandmother Arra Argusta McCollum was born April 13, 1914 in Alabama.
(Arra Argusta McCollum 5 months old.)

She was named after both of her parents, Argus Homer and Arra Elizabeth (Lizzie). Grandma was the 3rd child and 2nd daughter for their family. Grandpa Homer was a farmer and worked the coal mines to provide for the family. He was also a circuit preacher for the Missionary Baptist denomination. Eventually, the McCollum family settled in Missouri's "Bootheel". After my grandmother passed away in 2000 my father shared that she had felt disconnected from her own father, which now explains some of what I will share about her life's story.
(Grandma Arra on her 4th Birthday, 1918.)

My grandmother might be considered "loose" by some because of the things she did when she was a young woman. When she was 20 she found herself pregnant from a relationship she had been involved in. She never married the child's father and went on to have her daughter Joyce Ilene on May 4, 1934. She was a sickly baby and at the age of 10 weeks, passed away. (Grandma Arra with her daughter Joyce, 1934.)

(Joyce's grave, Malden, MO.)

Later my grandmother became involved with another man and once again found herself facing the prospect of being an unwed mother. It was during this pregnancy that her older brother James that she was closest to, went looking for work in Arizona. Her second child Carl Franklin McCollum was born February 4, 1936. Had she have known that Uncle James had just recently been murdered, I'm sure that my Uncle Carl would have been named after him rather than my own father. (Grandma Arra and Uncle Carl, 1936. I think Grandma resembles Amelia Earhart here!)

My grandmother never talked much about those days other than how hard it was. After my father had came along I know that she worked out in the fields picking and chopping cotton to provide for them as a family. On July 30, 1938, my father James Otis McConnell was born. (Arra and J. C. McConnell, 1938.)

Although my father's legal name is McConnell, J.C. was not his biological father. He married my grandmother before he was born, giving him his name. (J.C. McConnell holds my father along with Grandma Arra and Uncle Carl, 1938.)


My grandmother seemed to have been drawn to men who wouldn't treat her well. It is obvious to me that she had very low self-esteem and didn't realize that she deserved better. While J.C. was in prison, she divorced him and raised my dad and my Uncle Carl on her own. The story that runs in the family is that J.C. came to an ugly end shortly after being released from prison. He was killed when he was ran over with a thrashing machine! (Grandma with her boys, *1943.)

My father has told me that his childhood was pretty rough. He remembers them working hard in the fields and many times Grandma going hungry so that her boys wouldn't have to! They would go to Michigan and pick cherries, getting work wherever they could. The only father figure in her boys' life was my Great-Grandfather Homer, whom they always called, "Dad".

After WW2 my grandmother married Bud Chipman. A widower with a young daughter. Once again, my grandmother was drawn to the kind of man who would not treat her with the dignity, respect and love that she craved.
(Bud Chipman WW2.)

Uncle A.C. has shared with me that Grandpa beat her often and once, he and Grandpa Bud got into it for the way she was being treated. Still, my grandmother stuck it out, enduring humiliation time and time again. It was out of this family dysfunction, my father grew up to be a man. Grandpa Bud was an alcoholic and when he was drunk he became an ugly, mean and hateful person! Some of my earliest memories of him are family functions ruined by his meanness and drunkenness. I remember bruises on my grandmother and her buying herself a gun to protect herself! (The face of a toxic relationship, 1962.)

In the midst of all of this was my beloved Grandmother. She always made me feel so loved and safe when I was with her!
(Grandma and I, 1962.)

When I was 6 years old, my world crashed in on me as my parents got a divorce. I was the only child my Mutti had and I lived with her. We moved into the inner city of St Louis a block away from my paternal grandmother after she had found a job to support us. Even though Mutti was her EX daughter-in-law, my grandmother loved her DEEPLY. My Grandma was always there, for the BOTH of us. I remember Grandma buying us clothes at rummage sales, watching me before and after school and during the summers. She was one of the stabilizing points in my young life!


(Grandma & I at Forest park in St. Louis, 1968.)
One of the many embarassing things I remember from my childhood, was seeing Grandpa Bud passed out in the front yard after a night out of drinking with his buddies. I would be greeted at school with taunts of,
"Hey, I saw your Grandpa sleeping in the yard again this morning!"
Sometimes he would take me to the tavern with him if my Grandma had a doctor's appointment and wasn't back yet when I got home from school. He'd give me quarters to play pinball and buy me sodas while he would drink his beer. I wish now that I knew the reasons behind his drinking. Was he perpetuating a vicious cycle from his own growing up? Had something happened to him, to make him feel helpless in his own childhood? I suppose I'll never know!

When I was about 13, something drastic happened! At a doctor's appointment he was told he'd be dead within 6 months if he didn't stop drinking and so he did, Cold Turkey! To this day I am grateful to have had an opportunity to know the REAL Grandpa Bud. The man actually had a caring side and I would never have known that if he had continued to drink!
(Grandma Arra & Grandpa Bud, 1974. There is a peace in their relationship!)

He got his driver's license once again and purchased a car, a little, yellow Chevy Chevette. By this time, Grandma was no longer baby sitting me and the 2 of them could be seen, tooling around and making trips to Southeast Missouri to visit my great-grandma Lizzie. (Grandma Arra & Grandpa Bud, Southeast Missouri, 1976.)

I don't know if he had a relationship with the Lord because I never asked my Grandma. All I know is that after he had passed away in 1977, she was at peace about him! I will always be grateful that now when I think of Grandpa Bud, I have memories that are also sweet instead instead of only sad!
(Grandpa and I age 16, September 1976.)

After Grandpa Bud passed away Grandma seemed to grow in strength and grace in my eyes. She had always been a hard worker but she had bought a rental house a couple of years earlier and moved into the downstairs unit after selling the house she owned with Grandpa Bud. At this time, I was going through my own rebellion, not realizing that generational curses had been passed down through our family. I remember Grandma inviting me to live with her when I found myself divorced and a single Mom to my daughter Jennifer when I was only 19. I still recall telling her that if I was an adult enough to have made these decisions I needed to live up to my responsibilities. I'm guessing that between her life and my Mutti's upbringing, a sense of personal responsibility had been thoroughly ingrained into my being! I did remarry however and had my 2nd daughter Jessica but unfortunately, since I did not know the Lord, it really didn't stand a chance of survival either! I was enveloped in generational sin and had no idea of how to break free of it.

By 1984, I was bruised and broken and had turned my life over to the Lord to guide and control. My grandmother's (and many others) prayers for my salvation were answered! I would drive down into St Louis from St. Charles and take her to various doctor's appointments or grocery shopping since she didn't drive. I always loved being able to do for her because she was such an important part of my life. I learned so many things from her but one thing I learned in particular was generosity! Not only would she give you the shirt off of her back and all the money in her bank account, she gave of her time and her heart! That summer in 1984 I found myself a single Mom again, she bought me a more dependable car to thank me for all of the things I had done for her!

After giving the Lord the keys to my life, letting Him drive and beginning to grow in Him the Lord brought Dave into my life in 1985. Even though there have still been challenges and valleys, my life has been better than I have ever dared to hope or imagine! Right after Dave and I married, we moved away because of his job. Grandma and I wrote each other constantly and I was always sending her pictures of the children. Every time I was back in St Louis, I found myself drawn to spend time with her. Once again, she would tell me the stories of our family and once again I would find myself pouring through the family photo albums! There was another thing I found since I was living away from home; every time I saw her I was reminded that she was growing older. In 1988, we were living in Lincoln, Nebraska and we asked Grandma if she would like to watch Laura for a week while were on vacation. We were taking Jennifer and Jessica and would be camping and fishing out in a wilderness area. She was SO incredibly thrilled that we had asked her to do this for us! At the time, she was 74 years old and was living in a mobile home on the same property as my father. We knew she wasn't alone and that there was always someone near in case she felt like she needed some help. It was during this time that she developed a special bond with Laura. Growing up Grandma and I had a special bond and now she shared that same bond with one of my own children. After Grandma passed away I found pictures of Laura that I had given her, On the back were written the words, "my little beauty".

(Grandma and Laura, 1991.)


m
My Grandma with her "boys". Carl is on the left, and my father James is on the right.

(One of the last pictures of Grandma and I, taken at Jennifer's Wedding June 1998.)

In 2000, my grandmother was diagnosed with cancer. A couple of weeks before she passed away, I made a trip to be with her while she was in the hospital. I got to say goodbye to her in my own way and my visit let her know how deeply she was loved by me. She died the day we left for vacation and I cried all the way to Kansas City. A couple of nights later I had the most vivid dream of her. In it she was smiling and was about the age she would have been when I was born. I believe it was God's way of letting me know that after her long and hard life, she was happy and home, in the arms of her Savior. She handed down to me all of the family photos and the family's history. It is she that my book is dedicated to and I am forever grateful to God, for having given her to me as my grandmother. I know that when it's my time to go be with the Lord, she will be one of the many people waiting to welcome me in!

MEINE MUTTI

Not only is Meine Mutti beautiful, she's funny!

I love how she makes me feel!

COMMENT APPROVAL DE-ACTIVATED

I had enacted comment approval after 2 days, because I was afraid I might miss any comments that were left on my earlier posts. However, it's come to my attention that some comments aren't getting through at all, so I have deactivated it for the time being. I will try and be sure that I catch everyone's comments that take the time to stop in and visit my labor of love going on here. HUGS!

ELSA HELGA TANDLER

My mother was born on May 6th, 1938. My grandparents, Wilhelm & Marguerite Tandler were married June 26, 1926 in Aussig, Sudetenland (now known as the Czech Republic). My grandfather Wilhelm was a carpenter by trade.

Wilhelm's parents, Theodore & Anna Tandler had 2 daughters that died when they were young, before he was born. For years it was believed that there was a curse in the family associated with music. Both daughters died of some type of choking incident while Theodore was playing music away from home. After the second daughter died, he gave up music forever. I was told that the curse skipped every other generation, meaning my grandfather Wilhelm could play but my mother could not. It would be okay for me to play but my children could not, etc. Theodore suffered a severe head injury in a railroad accident and died a year later leaving Anna to care for 2 year old Wilhelm. Anna remarried and she and her husband, Opa Peck had 2 sons, Curt & Erwin. (Oma & Opa is German for Grandma and Grandpa. Omi & Opi is less formal).


(My Great Grandparents, Oma & Opa Novak. In Czech, if it is a woman, you add OVA to the last name, my Grandmother's name as an unmarried woman would have been Marguerite Novakova.)

My grandmother, Marguerite was one of 15 children born to her parents, Franz and Barbra Novak. She was one of the middle children and witnessed some of her younger siblings die while they were still small.


(My Omi & Opi, Wilhelm & Marguerite Tandler on their Wedding Day June 26, 1926.)

When Wilhelm & Marguerite married, they joined other family members in purchasing a home in Eichwald. Inside were 4 "apartments" and an agreement was made that the 4 couples would all work together refurbishing the house. When it came time to work on my grandparents apartment, the others wanted to be compensated for their work. A family feud erupted and my grandparents quietly and secretively, sold their interest in the house to strangers.

(The house in Eichwald.)

They had friends that had moved to Montevideo, Uraguay so they made the decision to move there themselves in 1928. When they were attempting to purchase their tickets for passage the only available destination was Buenos Aries, Argentina which is where they settled. Not long after their arrival to South America, their son Eric was born. When he was only 2 weeks old, he became ill and in route home from the doctor's office on the streetcar, he died in my grandmother's arms. Six years before my mother was born, another child, this time a girl was born. She too died shortly after she was born. In 1938, Wilhelm & Marguerite's only surviving child was born, my mother Helga. Marguerite was 37 and Wilhelm was 43.


(Omi & Opi with my "Mutti", Buenos Aries, 1938.)

After being gone from family for more than 11 years, they made the decision to move back home to the Sudetenland. They boarded a ship in 1939 and set sail across the ocean, homeward bound. If they had had any inkling that Hitler would wage a world war first invading Poland and then turning his eyes towards Sudentland, they might have reconsidered their decision! They purchased a home in Aussig and put all their assets in my mother's name in case there was a civil lawsuit due to the family feud fiasco in 1928.

(On board their ship sailing back to Europe, 1939. My mother is wearing a bonnet and is to the upper right of the porthole.)

My mother grew up in Aussig with Opa Peck living in nearby Teplitz. (A link for Teplitz is here.)Anna Peck and both of Marguerite's parents had died while they were living in Argentina. My mother remembers going to his house and playing with Uncle Curt. As Hitler marched across Europe, Uncle Curt was drafted into the German Army. He was shot and killed in Holland in the last days of the war by a sniper. Uncle Erwin had been sent to an extermination camp before their return from South America because he was slow and mildly retarded. Although he lived with his parents, he worked a job and took care of himself. Unfortunately Hitler didn't believe that someone like him could be a productive, contributing member of society so he wasn't allowed to live.

My mom told me how once when she was a little girl at school, the air raid sirens went off. School was dismissed early and as she ran towards her home, she watched the bombers fly overhead and drop their bombs on Teplitz where there were several factories. Opa Peck's home was damaged so he came to live with them.

My grandfather was too old to serve in the regular German Army like his much younger brother Curt, so instead he was drafted into the "home guard". On May 6th, 1945, my Mother's 7th birthday she and my grandmother baked a cake and boarded a streetcar in order to see my grandfather and to celebrate my Mother's birthday. While waiting to transfer to a second streetcar, they heard that Germany had surrendered. Instead of being jubilant, they were filled with terror because the Russian Army was bearing down on their town. They immediately headed back home.

When word got to my Grandfather that the Russians were coming and would occupy Aussig and Teplitz, he was filled with fear. Being in a German uniform, reluctantly I might add, he knew that the Russians would shoot him on sight or at the very least, send him to a POW camp. He ran from his post and through the woods headed for home. When he got there, he stripped off the uniform and my grandmother took it back to the woods and buried it. She returned to their house just ahead of the first Russian troops.

As the troops entered the town they went into private homes and began looting, stomping feather beds, urinating wherever they pleased and generally "acting like animals" to quote my grandmother. Reaching my grandparents home, 3 soldiers announced they would be taking up residence there and would be back later, with more troops. My grandmother took my mother and hid in the basement behind some shelving that my grandfather had built. (For a first hand account of what happened in Aussig, click on this link)


In the morning, expecting to find their home in shambles she and my mother were in shock to see that everything was fine. (The first of many Divine interventions). My grandfather told her that after she had left, an officer came to their house. The Lieutenant went inside, looked around and said that he would like to stay there because it would make suitable headquarters for him and his staff. While looking through the house, he saw a photo of my mother and grandmother and asked where they were. My Grandfather lied and said they were sick and at the hospital. The officer told him that if he had thought that he had had a family, he wouldn't have commandeered their house. Sensing that this was actually a decent man, Opi quickly realized the advantages of having this man stay in their home and how it might afford them some protection against the less disciplined troops roaming the streets.

(The photo of Omi & Mutti that the Russian Officer saw.)

They were allowed to "live" in their bedroom (Omi & Opi, my mom and Opi's stepfather, Opa Peck). They were required to cook, clean and do laundry for the Lieutenant and his aides. One of the aides, my mother said was only 17 or 18 and would actually "play" with her because she reminded him of his younger sister back home in Russia. Despite the presence of the officer, (he couldn't be at the house 24/7), some of the soldiers would still get drunk and become verbal. During those times, my Omi feared being raped so she would take my mother and herself to one of her hiding places, leaving Opi and Opa Peck to bear the brunt of the workload. The lady who lived downstairs was raped by soldiers and never seen again. My Omi was fluent in Russian, Czech, German as well as Spanish!

After 2 weeks of Russian occupation, the army was on the move again. The next year would see their return, as well as a return to occupation. The people were given a choice, stay or leave. Remembering what they had been through, they decided to leave. Opa Peck had passed away by then so Omi & Opi took whatever they could carry. Having been told that their exile would be 2 years at the most, Omi hid the more valuable stuff and buried the rest. My mother carried one toy with her- a doll which she has to this day, "URSULA".

(Mutti with Ursula.)

They boarded, what turned out to be the last train, settling refugees in West Germany. Everyone else and most of their family were shipped to East Germany! They never saw their home again since Communism wouldn't collapse until 1990! Another Divine intervention! Omi's sister, Aunt Hilda was sent to a Russian work camp where she nearly lost her feet to frostbite.She was eventually released and was somehow able to make her way to West Germany.

(Tante Hilda, Karlsbad 1937.)



My mother said things were actually worse after the war; there was never enough to eat, many times begging for food and many times going hungry. Post-WW2 Germany was a rough place to live! My mother's exposure to the American GI's convinced her that she would one day live in America.

(Never enough to eat, surviving. My Mother's 1st Communion, 1948.)


(My mother's 9th Birthday. She is wearing a long sleeved sweater that my Omi knitted for her.)


(A couple of years later when my Mother grew too big for the sweater, Omi unraveled it and knitted her a short sleeved sweater!)



Eventually, things began to get better.

(My Mutti at age 14.)


(My father James McConnell, US Army, Fort Hood, Texas 1958).

My father James was a young man from Missouri, stationed in Friedberg Germany with the Army when he met my mother in 1958.


(My parents dancing the night away!)

Mutti lived in Friedberg and Omi and Opi were living in nearby Grabenheim when my parents eventually married. My father actually knew Elvis and my mother worked at a store off the base where he would come in and purchase gifts for family & friends back home. My father finished his tour of duty in August of 1960 and I was born just a few weeks after he brought my mother to America!

(James & Helga on their Wedding Day.)

My parents divorced when I was only 6 and as children, we don't truly appreciate our parents when we're young. My mother is one of the most amazing, strong and courageous women on the planet! I can't even imagine how hard it was to be a single mom in the 1960's, being shunned by the Catholic church and living a half a world away from your only family! True, she is an immigrant to this country but unlike many of today's immigrants, she didn't expect a handout. It makes her angry to see today's immigrants and their attitudes, it disrespects her and America as well. Never in her wildest dreams would she have come to this country, not even knowing the language! She worked hard and respected the laws of this country, maintaining her legal status as a registered alien until she became an American citizen. To her credit, she raised me without any financial support from my father and gave me opportunities that my friends could only dream about. How many of them went to private Catholic schools, took ballet lessons or traveled to Europe to visit their grandparents? Not a one!

My Mom has had to endure a lot of hurts and hardships in her lifetime of 71 years. Every time she was knocked down, she got up and stood strong. She still believes that in spite of its problems, America is the best place on earth to live! In recent years she has been taking lessons, learning to play the piano, something she wanted to do when she was a child but never allowed to because of the family "curse".

Isn't she beautiful?

(For her 70th Birthday last year, I had Omi & Opi's Wedding picture transferred to canvas and framed for her. She loved it!)

SEARCHING

Okay, I have been hunting all over the place for the picture of Rebecca McCollum, Norman's older sister and have had NO luck whatsoever! It moved me to sort and file 3 boxes of pictures but I still have some more to go through! I have never truly organized these pictures in the 8+ years I've had them. I can see the photo in my head but for now, that's where it is trapped! I did find however, something I had been looking for for quite some time now. It was a newspaper clipping from when AC & AZ McCollum joined the Navy.


(Click to enlarge and be able to read it.)



Copy of the citation awarding the PURPLE HEART to Uncle AZ posthumously.


Robert Munger (left) Uncle AC & Al Rivera, the driving force behind uniting the community to send Uncle AC to Washington.



I also have the follow up paperwork to Uncle AC's visit to the WW2 Memorial.



I thought it would be fun to post pictures of the trunk that Grandma left to me after she passed away. Inside were photo albums as well as boxes of photos, some of which have been posted on this blog already!. Last year we had it restored and I was overwhelmed when I saw it! The outer canvas covering had been painted a hideous red color, the leather straps were all gone and the lock hasp needed work. The man who restored it for us estimates it was built 1880-1890 so it might have actually belonged to my grandmother's grandmother. The lock was repaired and he found an original key to fit it as well.



Can you even believe this?

NICEY JANE MCCOLLUM

This is my Great Great Great Grandmother, Nicey Jane McCollum. Mother of Norman Oscar McCollum, grandmother of Homer McCollum.




Nicey's maiden name is Cannon and she is a descendant of one of the founding family's of Virginia, the Woodson's. Dr John Woodson and his wife Sarah came from Devon Shire England in 1619 on "The George" and settled 30 miles north of Jamestown in Flowerdew Hundred. Dr. Woodson was murdered in 1644 in an Indian uprising just outside the family's cabin. Sarah hid their sons John in a potato pit and Robert in a washtub and along with a shoemaker inside the cabin, fought off the Indians. We are "Washtub Woodson's" descendants of Robert. Robert's daughter Judith married William Cannon and the rest is, as they say, history! It is through Robert Woodson that our family is related to Dolly Madison as well as Jesse Woodson James, the famous outlaw.

Nicey Jane Cannon was born in 1833 but was raised by her grandparents James & Mary Margaret Cannon after both of her parents (Russell & Margaret)died in 1839 as indicated by census records. It is through Nicey Jane that I have traced our family to Oliver Cromwell, Lord Protector of England as well as clear back to the 9th Century.

Nicey Jane married William Francis Acklin McCollum in 1852. He was a farmer with *80 acres of land at the time that he enlisted with the Alabama 3rd Confederate Calvary in 1861. At the time of his enlistment, they had 4 small children (the oldest was 7) and my Great Great Grandfather Norman Oscar was born in November 2, 1861.


(James McCollum, born 1854)


(Mary Elizabeth and Francis California McCollum, born 1856 & 1857)


I have a photo of Rebecca McCollum, born 1859, which I will hopefully post this weekend.


(Norman Oscar McCollum, born 1861)


(Luke McCollum, born 1864, is standing in the back, second from the right.)

Records show that William died from wounds he received in the Battle of Chickamauga, September 21, 1863. At the time of his death Nicey Jane was pregnant with another son, Luke McCollum who was born in 1864. She was left a widow to raise 6 children. I often wonder who her support system was because her parents had died when she was a little girl as had her grandparents by now, who had raised her.


Surprisingly she remarried in 1872 to a man named Peter Pryor. Given the carnage of the Civil War and the lack of men in its aftermath, I find it surprising that she was able to remarry at all. I don’t know his age or if he had served in the war or if he had children from a previous marriage. Certainly Nicey Jane was still young enough at the time of their marriage to bear him children which she did. Twin sons Tom and Hezekiah Pryor were born in 1872. (As you can see, twins run in my father's family as well as in my mother's family). Unfortunately, I do not have any photos of them amongst my Grandmother's belongings. By the 1880 Census, records indicated she was once again a single mother raising her family!

Norman Oscar & Iantha Evoline (Mullins) McCollum *1907. Standing left to right are Flora, Stella, June and Fred McCollum.

(I estimated the date for this photo by comparing it to the one taken in 1909 as well as the knowledge of my great grandparents (Homer & Lizzie's) Wedding date of 1906. Homer is absent in this photo as is the oldest sibling, Maryetta.)